with you by my side, everything fits so much better

Oh, Jenny & Tyler. They have the words I wish I could say. Seriously, these two have to be the greatest folk/christian/whatever duo from Nashville. And there's a lot of them..
I still can't even believe I got the awesome opportunity to meet and talk with them. So, so cool.


Even more cool: Jesus. mhm. that guy. As well as God and the Holy Spirit. I'm reading The Shack currently and it is making me wish I could have the experience that the main character in the story is having. The guy is getting this one on one, physically there time with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. How cool would it be to see those three with your very own eyes, all in one place, and you aren't even dead!?
Real cool.
But this book has reminded me of 1. the unconditional way God loves. The way he loves me, the way he loves people who reject him, just the way he loves.
2. His simple Goodness and His plan. I am an incredibly jealous person. Not over people's stuff or things like that, but in relationships. If the guy I am interested in so much as looks at another girl whom I perceive as "better" than me, I. get. jealous. I guess a better way of putting it would be I. get. worried. This will happen, no matter how absolutely wonderful the man is, I've learned. Lately, I've been worrying a lot about that sort of thing. But my sweet, sweet friend said such comforting words to me a few weeks ago and told me to keep Psalm 37:4 in mind. "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." God knows our hearts and what we are so hopeful for and what we desire. He wants to give us those things, as long as they are in His plan. And His plan is so, so good. I can worry all day long about things that I mentioned earlier. But my worry is selfish. My jealousy is.. stupid. And I am thankful God is pulling for me, even if I can't see it everyday.
3. His promise. This whole eternal life deal.. I'm sure it will so be worth the daily dying to ourselves. It's beautiful.

read the book! It's worth the time.

everything is Yours

I sit here tonight feeling way too excited. Where i've come this past 6 months is kind of crazy.
-I've been truly set free of a sin that was holding my relationship and openess with God back. My guilt, my shame, and my pain has turned into something so beautiful. I get to share all of that as God's Grace and mercy.
-I realized that I don't need any male to make me feel happy. This was one of the hardest things for me to realize/decide. I have so, so much love to give and the idea of committment scares me zero amounts. I want someone to share my life with soon. Obviously not in the next few years but still, soon. I am so thankful God has opened my eyes to find that all I need right now, though, is Him and His love. I've learned that my relationship with God is the most intimate, perfect relationship I'll ever have and honestly, I couldn't ask for anything else right now. My heart is content with being all Gods. I trust He'll let the right man step in when the time is right. I am thankful I finally have the time to work on myself and let God work on me for me. Not for anyone else.
..There's much more God's put on my heart the last half of the year.
But what I'm feeling way too excited about isn't just where i've come. In fact, it's more of where God's taking me in the future. I don't even have the words to express my excitement. MEOW is all I can come up with right now. Sorry.

wait, i can hardly wait

I truly wish I could just trust God's timing with everything in me. How dare I have the pride to think, "God, you must not know what you're doing.. let me fix this."
God is God. God sees what I can't see. He sees the big picture. My views are so narrow and confined to just what I think is right and what I think should be happening.
This is what I'm struggling with.

all of my plans, all of my dreams, i lay them down before Your feet

i am feeling so blessed tonight. there are no words.

agape

because i don't know how to say what i have to say and because this opened my eyes.

read it or don't. it's long, i know.

"The woman says in Song of Songs, 'I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.' She speaks a paradox. Two things are going on here. She's giving. Giving herself away. Letting go. Losing herself in her lover. And yet she's also getting something in return: the other person. Her lover, at the same time, has let go and fallen into her. There is something about losing yourself to another and their losing themselves to you at the same time that defies our ability to categorize. Healthy marriages all have this sense of mutual abandon to each other. They've both jumped, in essence, into the arms of the other. There is a sense of mutual abandont between them. If one holds back, if one refrains, it doesn't work.
But this paradox of mutual submission is only one of the profound things going on in this passage. The command to the husband is to love your wife 'just as Christ loved the church.' On the first pass, it seems quite straightforward. But as we've seen before, words in the Bible are often loaded. In this case, the word love in the Greek language is a specific kind of love.
The word for love here is the word agape.
So the man is to love the woman, to agape her, like God agapes the world.
Agape is a particular kind of love. Love is often seen as a need, something we get from others. Agape is the opposite. Agape gives.
Agape.
Imagine a wife whose husband isn't the man she wishes he was. He lets her down, again and again and again. She begins to withdraw, to retreat, and to hold his failures against him. If they are even capable of discussing the problems between them, often she will have a list of things she wishes he did. And so this puts him in an awkward position. If he does the things on the list, she won't know why he's doing them. Because it just comes naturally? Or because he's trying to score points with her? From her perspective, his motives are unclear. And so she develops a scorecard, usually subconsciously.
If he's good, she comes near, but if he fails, she stays at a distance. Her affection, her actions, and ultimately her love become conditional. Not agape.

Agape doesn't love somebody because they're worthy
Agape makes them worthy by the strength and power of its love.
Agape doesn't love somebody because they're beautiful.
Agape loves in such a way that makes them beautiful.

There is a love because, love in order to, love for the purpose of, and then there is love, period. Agape doesn't need a reason."

i'm always pretty happy when i'm kickin' back with you

tv is a joke. a REAL funny one

i am having a craving for a smoothie right now. it hasn't just now happened though. its been there since.. a week, maybe. WHY? i don't know. what goes in a smoothie? milk? ice? no, not milk. ice and fruit? and yogurt, if i recall correctly. i don't like yogurt, though. can i make a smoothie without it?
there can be so many different flavors. i bet one to go with everyday of the year




this week has been a dream, i'm convinced

the dog days are over

you get out what you put in with relationships. friends, more, whatever.
i can put in so much more than i have been with everyone.
be where you are = best advice i've gotten probably

hm

whats mine is yours to leave or take

my cat is currently being squirrely as a squirrel. running around for no reason and meowing. because that's what squirrels do.. meow

readers theatre = starting this next week. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
if you want to know how to "be evil", HIT ME UP, ill know this week. i'll just know

the world seems so small sometimes. which really, it is incredibly tiny.. but I DONT KNOW. sometimes, its quite obvious that there is more than this place. and I think everyone knows it. somewhere
there's something that we want! but we arent getting! even if we have the nicest stuff around! still! we want something else!
so give in
doit