I will never harm you


that is taking on a whole new meaning lately

we'll have to wait until summer

there are so many places i want to go! LA, San Fran, Portland, anywhere in Maine, + Chicago. i want to go there and stay.y.y.y






I think i like that place so much because it reminds me of my innocent and free self. I am amazed at the heaviness of my heart i had for a couple years after and never even noticed it until i found joy again. The me in chicago is me. And it is neat. to find myself being that me again. it calls for a big weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

in other news
i bought this dress today.



!!

i am a terrible blogger.

"Is marriage for our happiness or our holiness? I have learned that marriage is what the Lord chose for me to know Him more intimately...and as an incredibly wonderful by-product, I get to share life with my best friend...we hurt each other but we love each other...there's no other person I would rather be with...ever!"

I could not have put it better, Lauren Chandler.

Marriage is for God.

Dating is for God.

the person that you bring God more glory together than you do alone. That's the person. Because God's glory is the goal.

the almost as cool part: like Lauren said, it's having sleepover after sleepover, date after date, meal after meal with your very best friend. It's your life! with someone else! who you want to be with more than any body. any body! when God is the designer of that relationship... how cool?

with you by my side, everything fits so much better

Oh, Jenny & Tyler. They have the words I wish I could say. Seriously, these two have to be the greatest folk/christian/whatever duo from Nashville. And there's a lot of them..
I still can't even believe I got the awesome opportunity to meet and talk with them. So, so cool.


Even more cool: Jesus. mhm. that guy. As well as God and the Holy Spirit. I'm reading The Shack currently and it is making me wish I could have the experience that the main character in the story is having. The guy is getting this one on one, physically there time with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. How cool would it be to see those three with your very own eyes, all in one place, and you aren't even dead!?
Real cool.
But this book has reminded me of 1. the unconditional way God loves. The way he loves me, the way he loves people who reject him, just the way he loves.
2. His simple Goodness and His plan. I am an incredibly jealous person. Not over people's stuff or things like that, but in relationships. If the guy I am interested in so much as looks at another girl whom I perceive as "better" than me, I. get. jealous. I guess a better way of putting it would be I. get. worried. This will happen, no matter how absolutely wonderful the man is, I've learned. Lately, I've been worrying a lot about that sort of thing. But my sweet, sweet friend said such comforting words to me a few weeks ago and told me to keep Psalm 37:4 in mind. "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." God knows our hearts and what we are so hopeful for and what we desire. He wants to give us those things, as long as they are in His plan. And His plan is so, so good. I can worry all day long about things that I mentioned earlier. But my worry is selfish. My jealousy is.. stupid. And I am thankful God is pulling for me, even if I can't see it everyday.
3. His promise. This whole eternal life deal.. I'm sure it will so be worth the daily dying to ourselves. It's beautiful.

read the book! It's worth the time.

everything is Yours

I sit here tonight feeling way too excited. Where i've come this past 6 months is kind of crazy.
-I've been truly set free of a sin that was holding my relationship and openess with God back. My guilt, my shame, and my pain has turned into something so beautiful. I get to share all of that as God's Grace and mercy.
-I realized that I don't need any male to make me feel happy. This was one of the hardest things for me to realize/decide. I have so, so much love to give and the idea of committment scares me zero amounts. I want someone to share my life with soon. Obviously not in the next few years but still, soon. I am so thankful God has opened my eyes to find that all I need right now, though, is Him and His love. I've learned that my relationship with God is the most intimate, perfect relationship I'll ever have and honestly, I couldn't ask for anything else right now. My heart is content with being all Gods. I trust He'll let the right man step in when the time is right. I am thankful I finally have the time to work on myself and let God work on me for me. Not for anyone else.
..There's much more God's put on my heart the last half of the year.
But what I'm feeling way too excited about isn't just where i've come. In fact, it's more of where God's taking me in the future. I don't even have the words to express my excitement. MEOW is all I can come up with right now. Sorry.

wait, i can hardly wait

I truly wish I could just trust God's timing with everything in me. How dare I have the pride to think, "God, you must not know what you're doing.. let me fix this."
God is God. God sees what I can't see. He sees the big picture. My views are so narrow and confined to just what I think is right and what I think should be happening.
This is what I'm struggling with.

all of my plans, all of my dreams, i lay them down before Your feet

i am feeling so blessed tonight. there are no words.