agape

because i don't know how to say what i have to say and because this opened my eyes.

read it or don't. it's long, i know.

"The woman says in Song of Songs, 'I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.' She speaks a paradox. Two things are going on here. She's giving. Giving herself away. Letting go. Losing herself in her lover. And yet she's also getting something in return: the other person. Her lover, at the same time, has let go and fallen into her. There is something about losing yourself to another and their losing themselves to you at the same time that defies our ability to categorize. Healthy marriages all have this sense of mutual abandon to each other. They've both jumped, in essence, into the arms of the other. There is a sense of mutual abandont between them. If one holds back, if one refrains, it doesn't work.
But this paradox of mutual submission is only one of the profound things going on in this passage. The command to the husband is to love your wife 'just as Christ loved the church.' On the first pass, it seems quite straightforward. But as we've seen before, words in the Bible are often loaded. In this case, the word love in the Greek language is a specific kind of love.
The word for love here is the word agape.
So the man is to love the woman, to agape her, like God agapes the world.
Agape is a particular kind of love. Love is often seen as a need, something we get from others. Agape is the opposite. Agape gives.
Agape.
Imagine a wife whose husband isn't the man she wishes he was. He lets her down, again and again and again. She begins to withdraw, to retreat, and to hold his failures against him. If they are even capable of discussing the problems between them, often she will have a list of things she wishes he did. And so this puts him in an awkward position. If he does the things on the list, she won't know why he's doing them. Because it just comes naturally? Or because he's trying to score points with her? From her perspective, his motives are unclear. And so she develops a scorecard, usually subconsciously.
If he's good, she comes near, but if he fails, she stays at a distance. Her affection, her actions, and ultimately her love become conditional. Not agape.

Agape doesn't love somebody because they're worthy
Agape makes them worthy by the strength and power of its love.
Agape doesn't love somebody because they're beautiful.
Agape loves in such a way that makes them beautiful.

There is a love because, love in order to, love for the purpose of, and then there is love, period. Agape doesn't need a reason."

i'm always pretty happy when i'm kickin' back with you

tv is a joke. a REAL funny one

i am having a craving for a smoothie right now. it hasn't just now happened though. its been there since.. a week, maybe. WHY? i don't know. what goes in a smoothie? milk? ice? no, not milk. ice and fruit? and yogurt, if i recall correctly. i don't like yogurt, though. can i make a smoothie without it?
there can be so many different flavors. i bet one to go with everyday of the year




this week has been a dream, i'm convinced

the dog days are over

you get out what you put in with relationships. friends, more, whatever.
i can put in so much more than i have been with everyone.
be where you are = best advice i've gotten probably

hm

whats mine is yours to leave or take

my cat is currently being squirrely as a squirrel. running around for no reason and meowing. because that's what squirrels do.. meow

readers theatre = starting this next week. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
if you want to know how to "be evil", HIT ME UP, ill know this week. i'll just know

the world seems so small sometimes. which really, it is incredibly tiny.. but I DONT KNOW. sometimes, its quite obvious that there is more than this place. and I think everyone knows it. somewhere
there's something that we want! but we arent getting! even if we have the nicest stuff around! still! we want something else!
so give in
doit

You are more

this day has left me feeling every feeling possible

we get presents on Christmas
we get presents on Christ's birthday. His.
just like we get presents on our birthday. ours.

i'm thinking Christmas needs to be different. a lot different.
i'm thinking everyday needs to be different


a book i ordered came in today and it's called Sex God: Exploring the Endless Connections Between Sexuality and Spirituality. i can't wait to read it

God has put friends in front of me that i've needed for so long recently. they are great ones

poop=studyingforfinals

every living thing goes away

i never know what to say when asked what i am thankful for. family? friends? good food? well.. yeah. i guess those are some. but there is so many more! so! many! everything! uh huh. i am rich. richer than 95% of the world. and i do not live in a mansion, have a new car, or have every new thing on the market.
i have a car
i have atleast one pair of shoes
i have atleast one set of clothes
i have food that i know will be there for a while
i have lots of things
but those are things. so why do we have to be so thankful for them? i guess i don't mean its bad to be thankful, i just mean lets realize we have THINGS to be thankful for. and not say we are poor. or be unhappy with the things we do have.

i saw a bumper sticker a while back that said "Live simply so others can simply live"

it was a good one


MEOW

the love level in my church is non existant, i think.
no one gets why we need God. no one gets how to Love. maybe a few.
i feel more "Church" when i'm around some people at school then i do at that building. which kind of makes me happy. because that's kind of how it should be. but then not. at the same time. poooopi dont know!

i am thankful for those people

and i'm thankful that i can talk to God. the fact that anyone can talk to the creator of everything is really, really, really impressive. to say the least

i give You all of me

i wonder if people think about the words they are singing when they sing
and how silly some people sound when they sing words to songs.
because, personally.. i'm not fly like a g6

how great is our God?
i'd like to understand. glad i can't.

today i made a cake

i have so much to express but i can't get it out of my head!