its needin' its careenin' towards bein' alone

i think i am too sensitive, but i'm not sure, really.
my mood needs to change
i have too much to think about

this is a pointless post

i want to go visit somewhere

now please


this just got a little lot harder

tapping to the tunes

I am proud of my friend today

It's always sunny is going to be missed. Although, i think i can fill in the time until next season with seasons 1 and two
two and 1
1&2
not 12 though or 21
winter should get over soon. ice isn't fun, snow is kind of

macy+me+funthings = tonight

what would i want? sky!

i am in love with the Fall Be Kind EP, really.

It is Christmas, a white one at that. amoung other things, a book with many big pictures of Chicago and words about it was taken from under the tree, opened by me, and screamed at. Going there again is at the top of my list of things most wanted, which is really not even existant, but that's okay.














the girl was lookin' forward to laying under the tree.. she didn't want the milk.

i am a busy beeee
but a happy one

this.
this is by the far the most frustrating thing

i was lost in the lakes and the shapes that your body makes

Macy Elizabeth Kayser needs to live here again. and stay, yes

i like fair things. and i like reliable things.

a cat whisker wandered it's way out of my cats cheek and onto my floor. it feels weird, but it's like a present from the feline

it's making the same sounds

tear ducts are too active

and too much trust in promising

all i need is you

who knew hammering a nail could be so easy?
not me

My God is good. absolutely good.
this weekend has been one that changes things

your breath

THREE DAYS UNTIL LEAVING.

little kids are the most adorable things ever. except michael

kaushndfrsfdc

depending on the weather, i'm a changer

heres to a week that i loved
also to one that i did not love

i've learned that i am not a huge fan of watching movies by myself. I don't know why, but I don't enjoy them. even with my cat
The Pit and the Pendulum is an awfully long short story. I think i will read it today

i had a dream last night that this cat ate a rat and that i got angry at him

let's take our shoes off and unwind

oh, i love my grandma. we had a long talk about which man she should go for, and yeah, she had TWO. That is how it is done. i am so happy for her, as she has made a decision. Tom it is!
11 more long days until the Missionary Convention. I am more ready than ever to see what God will put in front of me
plus spend 4 days with quite a few of the most important people to me
PLUS meet new people, which i have been itching to do lately

walkin' down the street

my mother has a kidney stone. all day today, she has been pain free, which is good. she should keep it as a souvenir so she can say, "Yeah, this passed through a real small part of me. I, am a trooper."

my halloween was delightful. my pumpkin i entered in the contest at church did not win, sadly. neither did the other 7 me and a few others made. the winning pumpkin smelt of salad dressing
the human mouth is probably dirtier than the spanish room floor. do not laugh when i drop a lollipop on the ground and eat it. no wasting food, remember

p.s.
i just traveled to Walmart to get gum. and juice
that is all

oh, except November is here. i am happy.
for lots of reasons
a michael being a big part of it

i can't wait to meet you again, friend

well, i do suppose it is halloween at the moment. i watched the blair witch project this past night.. um.. tonight i guess..? and now i am scared and will most likely sleep with a light on.
pumpkins were carved last night with two of my friends whom i love dearly. i am quite proud of my pumpkin, i have to say.
a rough week = mine. don't like seeing people i love so upset. i will miss Toby as well.playful pup, he was.
i think ill try to sleep.. with lights.

i knew which one to wear

NATIONAL MISSIONARY CONVENTION = 23 days
the school system will lose money because of me for the second time in who knows how long
my excitement is at a high
i am looking forward to this, and this summer when Mexico comes around
this weekend will be most excellent. stephanie, rebekah and I are judges at the church for the kids' costume contest
i cannot wait

you'll be given love

my nose is stuffin'

also, the halloween costume i am thinking of will be just delightful. this one will be better than previous. hopefully my mother will make it.
also, i like michael
also, i wish this cold weather was over. it's here to stay for a time though, i know
also, everyone is sick. which bugs me. someone seriously needs to discover the instant cure for any sickness. how about we stop using our time for making it where one can work on two windows at once on a computer, and maybe, just maybe, use it for something more useful. i have a feeling the world in Wall-e will really happen before we find cures for things. but what can you expect?
also, i missed another orthodonist appointment.
also, my birthday is in 54 days. this means Christmas is in 63 days, too. this also means 69 days remain in 2009.
also, i want to take a trip
also, i am the queen of commas

i owe you no allegience

she wouldn't get off my poster..
really, honestly would not get off

i hope you keep your promises

will we feel like this for the rest of our lives?

my mother was so close to being convinced of letting me own another cat yesterday.

Jamie The Vet Worker: coming soon

my hopes are high for things. yes, things
this weekend will be a good one, except morgan is leaving for vacation.. in october...
i visited macy elizabeth kayser today after school. she's a sick one, but not really anymore because her fever is almost gone! she will be a part of my weekend for the first time in a long time and i am very happy about it. gonna watch christmas movies

some cat food will make cats poop rather frequently and make it smell worse than normal. yeah, they should put it on the bag. my poor cat. thank the lord for trashcans
also, i wish that girls would get a little classier. stop showing me your thongs when i sit behind you and stop wearing shirts too tight for anyone. please.
and please don't flirt with every man in the room.
and please don't put yourselves out there. if you're going to anyway, don't be so obvious about it.
thank you

i went runnin

etsy.com
oh, it takes up my life now. i spend so much of my time on that. just lookin
lots of things that i want to buy, though. cheap, too. who can complain?

a fever, i think, was inside of myself yesterday. i fell asleep earlier than normal and had an odd night. so many times, i woke up. so, so, so many times. it was awfully warm, too. I dreamt i didn't go to school the next day and weird things happened to me that aren't remembered now. it almost came true, but medicine is helpful. i believe i am all better

in the dream

i got my cat a toy today. its a bird on a stick. i have to hide it at night, though. it has a jinglebell attached

the hot weather made her feel right at home

LOOK AT THAT
ART

found out my grandma went to New Orleans this past weekend to meet a man she met over the computer. i am proud of her

We'll have to wait until summer

this is what is happening tonight
i miss that season
it seemed like the most uneventful summer, but it's the one i miss the most.
today is Morgan Danielle Hanak's birthday. 15, finally. she is coming over here now. we'll walk around.. ya know
she's a youngin'
the temperatures the past two days have been cold. if i want to live in Chicago, i need to get more warm clothes. i like those clothes better, anyway.
i took a 3 hour nap today. and it was great

let's trade skins

i woke up missing Chicago
bad

lion in a coma

i am busy
but i really am not

happy october

it's been so long

INTENSE SOCCER = TODAY

plus a trip to walmart. and a michael tonight
at walmart, a little boy, who couldn't have been more than 3, was walking past me when he stuck his hand up and tapped his palm on my leg. it was high enough to make me uncomfortable.

there is something i am becoming passionate about, beside Jesus.. and cats.. actually.. i can't really compare Jesus to any thing. but that is a different paragraph.
ANYWAY
it's come to my attention, a while back really, that some models are absolutely horrifying. the idea of a "beautiful girl" has become so corrupt, it's sickening. there are girls that go to such extreme measures to look like those that are seen in magazines. it breaks my heart to hear about people thinking they are not good enough or pretty enough for anyone. God made no mistakes making anyone. he doesn't love a complete stick more than anyone else. the world shoves things at us, giving us such a perverse picture of what we should look like. it's.. ah.
ridiculous.

the night

oh, this week has ruled
this weekend will too

my teacher says i write too informally. okay

everyones birthday is so soon. really, there are lots coming. the city needs to be visited by myself

in the past two weeks, i have
1. saw a lot of cats
2. said words..(:
3. put eyeshadow on for the first time ever. it looked terrible. but i did it at night so it was alright
4. spent many hours laying by my window with my cat
5. cleaned up said cat's abundant hairballs
6. made applesauce
7. spent time with michael. he is a lot of things. i do like it
8. planned over half my summer
9. noticed things about everyone
10. started reading ANOTHER book. that's 5 at the moment
11. watched Grey's Anatomy for the second time ever. i don't like it
12. had an odd dream
13. painted
14. decided not to work anywhere with food. not for me

i'm going to hang out with Katie and Marie and other fun folk at theater now.
then Morgan and Jamie after that

friends are great things to have

you found me

i don't like hurting people. at all
i wonder if i'll ever accept my own apology to someone else
idon't know why i had to not talk. i dont know
i dont
i dont
i dont
i'm glad people forgive people
i'm glad things are different
i'm glad i am different
i'm glad of a lot of things

now.. everything will be okay

the only one who's ever known who i am, who i'm not, and who i wanna be

i have a lot to think about all the time

i had a little slippi

i am excited. i am happy. i am hesitating.


i really, really want a Nikon D40. BADBADBAD. there are so many opportunities for fantastic pictures
papayas are disgusting. coconuts also. i tried them today. a liking for fresh pineapple developed, though
ITSALWAYSSUNNYINWHERE?
philadelphia. that is where, my friend
at 9 o'clock
not for me though. another hour
one day less than 3 months and it will be my birthday
one six
it is quite a few years if thought about.
a cat was meowing outside of a window in my basement this morning. it sounded absolutely adorable. i also notice that i write the word cat a lot. CAT
tadpoles are inhabiting the bird bath in front of my house. cute things, they are
i heard today that being a vet takes as much work as being a doctor. well, okay

i wonder about what would've happened if i didn't have a relationship with God. if i made a choice to keep my pride a couple months ago. i flushed that jazz down the toilet, though. i am so, so, so, so, so, so lucky i did


p.s. cross one eye, it is a good time

p.p.s. i don't know why it says i posted this two days ago

please don't

sometimes, i dont like the way i am

you're working for the police and the private

i want to be a vet

i do miss summer.. really, really badly. that is the time i am looking forward to. plus everything after that.
also, i wish everyone listened to Animal Collective.
Frances is a good name for a cat
morgans kittens are adorable. all cats are adorable, what am i thinking?
everyone looks the same i've noticed. that i why i don't like here. ialso feel more mature than my grade. possibly the nextone as well. sometimes, i'm silly



i feel so good about living tonight

tonight is golden

That God.. what a cool, cool cat.

Also.. my opinions of school are not negative. quite positive, actually. teachers are my least favorite part. I am not in a writing mood right now

meet me in the bathroom

why is there a slug inside my house on the door?
why why why why why why? i put salt on it, though
the poor lad. there was also a cricket in my basement earlier. my cat found it and pawed at it for a few minutes. i had my mom squish it

dem animulz iz takin care uf



my hair is growing fast. yours is too, probably

don't you think maybe it's about time?

i'm drinking water from a bottle. i got the water out of my kitchen faucet 2 days ago. that is the way it's liked
I am going to school on tuesday. i'm excited to see everyone. it feels like an important birthday. 10 years in the school system. double digits, two hands
i hope it still smells the same. you know, places have smells. people do too. one, i am partial too.
i guess i will talk to more people and have no more time to be lazy and seclude myself from everyone except maybe 5 people. that is just an estimate. that is an enjoyable life, really

my name is weird. i don't like it much. i love, love, love the names Marla and Bonnie and Oliver.


FIVE GREAT THINGS THAT I LIKE
1. people watching
2. jay ee es you es
3. people i surround myself with
4. michael, on tuesdays
5. kids of ages 2 - 8


FIVE GREAT THINGS THAT I DON'T LIKE AND ARE NOT GREAT AT ALL
1. the sun when it burns
2. teachers that do not care whatsoever about students. this is the biggest non-great thing. i am also not looking forward to this
3. sports, or any sort of competitive games
4. extreme tiredness
5. my lack of drivability

actually, i like michael all weekdays and weekends. he is weird

i am really, really, really looking forward to the next week. tomorrow will be good because i get to see many a people. sunday will be good as well. monday will be good umm too. i think i need plans, though. morgan is silly for going to california..
i missed an orthodonist appointment today. just forgot all about it. the pool was more entertaining, no doubt.
i fed a giraffe yesterday. their tongues are long and they slobber a lot. it's kind of gross. pretty animals, though

also, this is long

also, commas are a friend

i told you i would stay

being outgoing would be great. i could meet more people. that's what i want





school will be good for everyone. but then the weekends will be good for everyone too. school is just a good deal, i think
the last few weeks of summer have been best. they consisted mostly of morgan and michael. good people, they are. M & M. they will think i'm weird..er for calling them that next time they are with me at the same time

smells stay on clothes for a long time. i like it

i enjoy people with tact

you go dove, you go

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHqzlxGGJFo&feature=player_embedded

1 2 3 go

dreams are weird things. they last so long
short actually
the show CSI is awfully addicting. New York is the one that is best. It is worth watching
i wish that everyone would have one of these. because although i know i'm writing to more than one person, i would love to hear everyone else
i am no good at wanting things. i change my mind too much. it's terrible how often. it's going to be a chore deciding what i want to do when i leave.
what i do want, i know: to be good at taking care of things and making food and cleaning and to have a garden. one day
i don't know if i want to be something fancy
fansy
is it bad?
i think that i will bake something when i get home next week.
camping is fun. caterpillars that are fuzzy are not
my friends are great, they really are

i think you'll find us

the suns on a string
rope
bar
line





chaos sure is something

slow down

this is what i need to leave my house. it's my cat. why it's dark, i don't care really

this fur child is the most important thing to me, really. i think she is getting used to one other person that does not live here ; geoff

jeff

show me all your favorite things

a time machine would be most helpful right now
forward>back
i enjoy people's company. if i could, i would go outside and live there, without anyone though. maybe one person but no more
i can calm down very quickly i've learned. it makes me feel like a child when i go to sleep early. i am glad those days are over

i am glad i am not symmetrical

i'm definitely shaking

i have learned that i am quite persuasive with things
My mom
i am excited for 365 days to be over already
maybe not
they will all be great
great great great, great

i need a dream catcher
badlywadly
i also need a new mattress
want i guess

need need need
want want want
what else would we do

another thingi want
is to listen to music loudly
lately
that is all i've wanted to do

chin up, cheer up

I took a nap with my cat and I heard a noise.



The icecream truck plays a song that i've never heard before. I am sure there are many songs that icecream trucks play. I want to hear them all. There should be more large vehicles playing music, driving down the road to sell things to people who run down the street to take a look inside the vehicle, at all its goods and decide what they want.

thank you, thanks

everyday? this?

no, certainly not.

Animal Collective, what?

In my opinion, their top 20 songs...



20. Prospect Hummer (Prospect Hummer)
Favorite line: And your cat is a friendly brother who'd offer his heart with allegience and if he could talk we'd be best friends

19. Unsolved Mysteries (Strawberry Jam)
Favorite line: And what a surprise to look in those eyes

18. For Reverend Green (Strawberry Jam)
Favorite line: A careless child's money flew in the trees, a camping child's happy with winters freeze, a lucky child don't know how lucky she is

17. Bees (Feels)
Favorite line: They said I take my time, you take your time, please take your time, i take my time

16. Chores (Sung Tongs)
Favorite line: And take a walk out in the light drizzle at the end of the day when there's no one watching

15. Slippi (Here Comes The Indian)
Favorite line: She's not growing up, we want music with our eyes closed

14. Banshee Beat (Feels)
Favorite line: I don't think that I like you anymore well I found new feelings at the feeling store

13. Who Could Win A Rabbit? (Sung Tongs)
Favorite line: Sometimes I can't find my good habits

12. Street Flash (Water Curses EP)
Favorite line: And what's that crawling all around? What's that twitching, is it still alive?

11. Summertime Clothes (Merriweather Post Pavilion)
Favorite line: Don't cool off, I like your warmth

10. The Purple Bottle (Feels)
Favorite line: Make me sick sick sick to kiss you and I think that I would vomit but I'll do that on mondays I don't have a work way I like it when I bump you an accident's a truth gate I'm humbled in your pretty lense


9. Doggy (Campfire Songs)
Favorite line: But I remember when I first got you dog, you lay there so still dog, you lay there so still


8. Derek (Strawberry Jam)
Favorite line: Hope you get over your teething, it's not easy when you feel sick


7. Brother Sport (Merriweather Post Pavilion)
Favorite line: I know it sucks that daddy's gone, but try to think of what you want


6. No More Runnin (Merriweather Post Pavilion)
Favorite line: No more runnin, i've got to breathe, on back porches, with the torch of a firefly lit tree


5. Turn Into Something (Feels)
Favorite line: Then groan at the goodness, but do you mean not everytime


4. Leaf House (Sung Tongs)
Favorite line: This house is sad, because he's not inside it


3. Peacebone (Strawberry Jam)
Favorite line: It was the clouds that carved the mountains, it was the mountains that made the kids scream


2.Grass (Feels)
Favorite line: I don't make particular plans 'cause they don't matter when you keep on foolin' in bed with my sleepin' patterns


1. Fireworks (Strawberry Jam)
Favorite line: You're only what I see, sometimes